Drinking Within Certain Cultures

9-24-12

*Can serious drinking be part of one's cultural heritage?*

The first thought that would typically come to a person’s mind while being asked this question is Irish people. Everyone knows that people with Irish descent are known for heavy drinking just as Italians are known for their food. On the other hand, a typical Italian family sits down for dinner and consumes a glass of wine or two, but that is the way that they are to be brought up. Italians start drinking at a younger age, but not for partying; they drink to relax at dinner, not to purposely overly consume multiple drinks to get drunk. Many cultures have different rules and drinking ages for many different reasons. Although Europe’s drinking age is 16, the law is not highly as enforced as it is in the United States. By being able to drink at a young age, you understand the responsibilities and you become more mature in a drinking setting and you are less prone to wanting to drink to get drunk.

FREE WRITE: "If she had as much talent as she has temper, she would be famous now." - Amy Tan from "Two Kinds"

Nicole Zerbo                     

September 17, 2012

Free Write For “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan

            I choose to do my free write on the excerpt “Two Kinds” from The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan because I have read The Joy Luck Club before and thoroughly enjoyed the novel.  All of the stories in this novel are about mother and daughter’s confrontations and perspectives about growing up and being raised in certain cultures. Many of the mothers in this novel push their daughters to become something that they are not or do not want to be: award winning chess players, a high seat at the Mahjong table, to become more associated with their family/culture, or in this case, a child prodigy. There is one main recurring theme throughout this book which is a mother having power of their child’s unwanted destiny.

            Furthermore, in the story “Two Kinds,” Jing Mei talks about how her mother quizzically interrogates her because she wants her to be a child prodigy. Jing Mei could not take any more of her mother’s frustrating quizzes and disappointing gestures so she stopped trying all together. Sometimes when people see disappointment, it motivates them to work harder, but not Jing Mei. The story goes on to tell the reader that Jing Mei’s mother watches a child pianist on TV; she then criticizes Jing Mei saying, “Not the best, Because you not trying” (Line 34). I enjoy reading The Joy Luck Club for many reasons, but the main reasons are because every story told contains emotions and life lessons in the end with accompanying emotional themes of story-telling.

            Not to be a spoiler, but Tan titles the story “Two Kinds” for a reason. Mid way into the story, the reader soon finds out that Jing Mei’s mother only wants one kind of girl living in her house; an obedient one. She states that there are two kinds of girls, “Those who are obedient and those who live by their own mind!” (Lines 71-72)

            I enjoy the humor the most in “Two Kinds.” An example is on lines 25-28, “In spite of these warning signs, I wasn’t worried. Our family had no piano and we couldn’t afford to buy one, let alone reams of sheet music and piano lessons.” I laughed while reading these quotes, but I found it even funnier when Tan explains that Jing Mei’s mother signs her up for piano lessons from a retired piano teacher (who of course is ironically deaf.) The lessons were of course free, “traded with house cleaning services for weekly lessons and piano practice. . .”(Line 30).  Jing Mei decides to rebel against her mother and takes the easy way out which I find interestingly humorous, especially when entered in the recital since Jing Mei fakes her notes and keys throughout her piano lessons. Sometimes I really did think that Jing Mei would end up doing fairly well in the recital because she is smart enough to follow the tone and “the simple scale, the simple chord” (Line 40). Tan writes “So maybe I never really gave myself a fair chance. I did pick up the basics pretty quickly and I might have become a good pianist at that young age. But I was so determined not to try” (Lines 31-32).

            After the “humorous” part of the parable, emotions begin to run wild; the mother’s disappointment in Jing Mei for not trying hard enough (if at all), Jing Mei’s terrible wish about being “dead like them,” and finally, her mother’s death. Towards the end of the story Jing Mei has an epiphany and realizes that the two songs from the song book are two halves of one whole song; “pleading child” and “perfectly contented” symbolize Jing Mei’s characteristics from the story while they are also the songs from her piano book, oh the irony. These stories are broken down into daughters and mother's perspectives. After reading "I Stand Here Ironing" by Ira Sher, I wished that Sher had another short story possibly from Emily or even Susan's perspective. 

Dear Emily's Mother

*September 16, 2012*

Dear Emily’s Mother,

            A conference is much needed because Emily sincerely needs to understand that she is loved. Sometimes she explains that she pushes you away or does not want to be held by you, but she still needs you. She deeply wants to be loved, however, it is understood that you were only 19 when you gave birth to Emily. Emily had been born into a rough life with war going on, the struggles of not having enough money, and not having a father figure around. You may think that Emily does not need help and that she can do things on her own, but she needs your guidance. No, you should not and will not do everything for her, but perhaps you should help her find her way in life. It is obvious that there is a world that Emily is living beyond you, but your guidance is key.

            Emily’s life (as well as your own) has been a roller coaster of unfortunate events. She was drastically sick at one point, and yes, it was okay for her to be sent away, you had to care for the baby; if Susan got sick she very well could have died; you were being a mother, you did the right thing. When Emily got better, she was forced to grow up and mature fast to be able to help you take care of her siblings. Of course there was not a father figure in the household, thus Emily plays the role of another mother for the children. You must help Emily relate to yourself; she quickly grew as well as you did at 19 years old.

            You are the entire reason why Emily has made something of herself; you are the one who led her to join the school’s ammeter show which she loves.  She finally became something of herself! You ignited a fire in her heart where she has a growing passion for acting. The next fire to be ignited is for you; a mother and daughter bond is inseparable. She needs you, your advice, and a mother. Yes, she will eventually find her way, but you must be her guide.

            Emily needs to understand that her life is precious and if you come in for a conference you will understand how to do this. She needs to feel loved and wanted. There will be less nights of where she did not want you to hold her if you believe in her and love her unconditionally. You need to understand that she has had a harsh life and that she has a bit of existentialist views in her mind; she says “in a couple of years when we’ll all be atom-dead they (midterms) won’t matter a bit.” (Lines 50-51)  Yes, it is a reasonable way of thinking, but you need to help her understand how meaningful her life can be. “She is more than this dress on the ironing board.” (Lines 70-71)You have many acknowledgeable excuses; you are a single, poor, sleepless, distracted parent, but you still have your wisdom. It is never too late for a mother’s care, love, or wisdom. 

The Man In The Well By Ira Sher

September 12, 2012

The short story called “The Man in the Well” by Ira Sher was definitely eye catching. It was an easy read because it was so absurdly interesting to me. Here are my ranked statements from most accurately expressed statements to least most accurately statements:

1. Within groups, people may engage in conduct that is wilder, stranger, or more uncivilized than their usual behavior when alone.
2.    Even in their later years, people may have trouble forgiving themselves for bad things they did when they were young.
3.   When dealing with an adult, even a helpless one, children may have in their minds images of parental authority that affect how they treat a person.
4. Children may have difficultly sharing the perspective of another person.
5.   People need to see one another’s faces if they are to trust one another.
6.   Children may fail to understand when an adult is in danger.
7.    Children are capable of conspiring with one another against the adult world.
8.       The psychological reality of children and adults is a deep well within themselves that they cannot see into.
9.  We should be more compassionate toward people who are trapped.
10.  People project their fears or suspicions onto others, even those who do not actually pose a threat to them.

“Within groups, people may engage in conduct that is wilder, stranger, or more uncivilized than their usual behavior when alone;” this initially caught my eye because I believe that is expresses Sher’s theme perfectly. For example, say one little girl was walking through an open field and heard a man yelping for help. This little girl would most likely go find a more authoritative figure to aid to this man. I am only saying this because I do not know many children/people who would walk by a person in need of help and not actually do anything about it. Right now I am currently enrolled in Introduction to Psychology and one of the worksheets my professor handed out was titled “A Survey of Psychological Beliefs.” One of the beliefs was that “if you need help from a bystander, you are more likely to receive it if only a few people are nearby.” This quote was a proven study which helps explicate this statement even further.

Next, I ranked “even in their later years, people may have trouble forgiving themselves for bad things they did when they were young” number two because that is just simply how humans live. No one lives without any regrets and if they do then they’re lying. The last short paragraph in “The Man in the Well” is a perfect example of this statement. “After that we didn’t play by the well anymore; even when we were much older, we didn’t go back. I will never go back.” (Lines 62-65) This quote signifies that the persona of who is telling the story felt troubled about what had happened is his past.

“When dealing with an adult, even a helpless one, children may have in their minds images of parental authority that affect how they treat a person” is ranked number three because some children may not want to help adults because of their home life.  Some parents may be abusive and violent in their homes which would make such children more skeptical about other adults. Perhaps many parents have scarred their children which would then make the impression that all parents act like their own.  Mentioned in the story, the persona’s parents are mentioned every once in a while; the mother always seems to be crying when the persona mentions her on the night that it rained. Do the mother’s tears symbolize a deeper meaning within the thesis?

“Children may have difficulties sharing the perspective of another person” is ranked number four on my list because in all simplicity, kids are kids. Depending on how old they are, they don’t even know how to think about themselves unless they’re hungry, tired, or have to use the bathroom. Children simply don’t have the mature mind-set that older people have because they most likely haven’t experienced life changes yet. Although, yes, Sher does explain through the narrator that he/she “watched the shudder move from face to face,” (lines 42-43) but this does not justify understanding a perspective of someone.

The statement, “people need to see one another’s faces if they are to trust one another” is in the middle of the ranking because, although it is considered “judging a book by its cover,” people tend to believe the mentality of “seeing is believing.” (Blind people are an exception to my chosen statement #5.) I would say that children are more likely to tryst someone by seeing their face, not from looking down a pitch black well. The children in the story want to know what the man’s characteristics are and what his name is so they can most likely be able to trust him. Who trusts someone when they can’t see them and when they won’t tell what their name is anyway?

“Children may fail to understand when an adult is in danger” is an obvious statement. Kids typically think that mommy and daddy are super heroes and that they’re never in trouble. The children in “The Man in the Well” let this helpless man die in a well, never once seeking any type of help for him because they must not understand that this adult is in crucial danger.

The statement “the psychological reality of children and adults is a deep well within themselves that they cannot see into” is voted toward the end because I think parents know the psychological reality about themselves, it is the kids who do not. This statement is just not the best thesis statement to explain Sher’s story.

 The statement “we should be more compassionate toward people who are trapped” is towards the end of accurate thesis statements solely because of the word “trapped.” I was unsure of how trapped was being used in the context. If trapped was taken literally, as if being trapped in a well or if the word trapped had a deeper symbolic meaning.

Finally, the statement that is least accurately expressing the main idea of “The Man in the Well” is “people project their fears or suspicions onto others, even those who do not actually pose a threat to them.” This statement honestly just confused me which is why I ranked it last. At first I thought I understood it, so I ranked it right in the middle at number five, but after revising my paper I grew confused of the statement’s context and had to make an adjustment. Thus, this statement is last because I feel it does not relate to the previously read short story.

Pick 2: good grades, a social life, or enough sleep

This Year: 

September 10, 2012

This semester is overwhelming already honestly. I already have a lot of reading to do. Sometimes I wish that I could just live on campus and not go to class.. but what would come out of that? My classes seem pretty easy, but that is because they are the basic classes which I need to fulfil for my freshmen year. 

 My hardest class is Intro To Psych.  It is going to be a lot of reading, memorization, and studying. I am really nervous for this class, but I think I can handle it. I am very interested in psychology.  There are over 100 people in the class.. that's something I don't really like too much. I like my classes so far; the teachers seem pretty cool, although I find it extremely hard to understand my BASK Math teacher since he is from Kenya. -_- Plus, I have a hard time paying attention to math since it's so boring. 

Everyone is actually really nice at Stockton. I hope to get good grades and have a lot of fun too. Everyone says when you go to college you have to pick 2 out of 3 things: good grades, a social life, and enough sleep. I want to pick all three this year. We'll see how it goes.